“Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it)” is a song by R&B’s Beyoncé Knowles that was originally released in 2008 but is still relevant today and temporarily drives every Atlanta woman insane when they hear it. The song represents everything that Atlanta women aspire to be— Single, successful, good dancers and in charge. Men should note that playing this song in front of their significant other, automatically ends the relationship—At least for the duration of the song.
Since the lyrics to Single Ladies aren’t exactly the most complicated, being able to actually perform the single lady dance accounts for 60% of the single lady experience and respect. As a measure, Atlanta women use the accuracy of the dance as a way to determine who’s the most single. Bad dancing usually means that she has somewhat of a life and only hates men occasionally. A perfectly choreographed routine however means that you should probably head for the hills and not forget to leave your helmet.
Atlanta women love to overlook the fact that Beyonce’s been happily married for the past three years to hip hop mogul and entrepreneur Jay-Z, even though they themselves know the truth. You should never however attempt to divulge this information in front of a group of women in mid single lady. Doing so will prove pointless and will almost always result in blue balls.
The songs popularity has even sparked the interest of at least one major television network not owned by Oprah.
As if living through the experience of Atlanta’s dating scene or lack thereof wasn’t enough, now the rest of the country will be able to partake in Atlanta’s misery, by watching VH1′s ‘loosely reality based’ television show titled—You guessed it: Single Ladies.
It doesn’t help that the show is also based in Atlanta and features three professional women, who occasionally cheat and believe that a good relationship equates to meeting a guy who can form complete sentences and actually likes women—the irony.
You’ll come to find out that every woman in Atlanta is a single lady, regardless of their actual involvement in a relationship. The lesson here is to learn to choose the lesser of the two evils or the worst dancer.