Texas has oil, Philly has cheese steaks, Arizona has immigration reform and Atlanta has night clubs.

Typically every Atlanta date starts off the same, with you both lying to each other over a candlelit dinner. She tells you that all she wants is a normal guy, who doesn’t make six figures and you tell her, that all you’re interested in is everything but sex. As the night progresses, you both complain about  previous relationships that you’ve never had,  while comparing notes from recent psychotherapy sessions. After sipping chilled concoctions that neither one of you could handle, she tells you how much of a home body she is and asks, “So do you go out often?”

As an Atlanta male, it’s your responsibility to profess your hate of Atlanta’s night life,  immediately upon being asked this question.

Try to ignore the fact that you’re both probably in a dive bar, listening to the alternative version of “Blame It On the Alcohol” and politely say, “No, I don’t really do clubs or anything, but I will occasionally go out to shoot a game of pool with friends.”

If she asks, “So what are you doing here then?” tell her that your friends dragged you out of the house for (name the closest holiday or friends birthday), but you would’ve preferred to have actually stayed at home and watch Netflix. Coincidentally, she’ll tell you that, that’s the same exact reason that she’s out of the house and that she also has a Netflix account—Score!

At no point in time however should you make the mistake of asking her the same question as she will immediately be put on defense.

Providing her with the above response will establish three things:

The first, is that it will make it seem as if you’re that much more sophisticated or mature, than the previous guys that she’s had to deal with. It’s almost a guarantee that she’ll echo your same exact sentiment in regards to Atlanta’s nightlife, regardless of either one of you being truthful.

The second thing, is that you’ve now introduced a competitive element into your date that for one reason or another, Atlanta women love.

Note: You can substitute pool with any competitive activity, so long as there’s alcohol present and she actually believes that she has a chance of winning.

The last thing that you’ll establish is that you actually have a life or at bare minimum, that you’re an avid fan of Netflix.

Atlanta women hate meeting men that are constantly partying but cringe at the idea of meeting a man that’s too readily available. It’s because of this that pretending as if you don’t have enough time to attend happy hour, because you’re too busy watching the complete first season of “Spartacus” on Netflix is the perfect ploy.

Please note that your relationship won’t last too long because she’ll be too busy partying, even though the majority of your discussions will be her trying to convince you that she doesn’t.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here